Grieving and coping

There are a series of events that cause stress in our lives. Whether it’s good stress or bad stress, it impacts our health. Today, we remembered the lives lost in the September 11th Catastrophe, back in 2001. We all remember what we were doing that morning. It’s a moment that the people of our United States, and the rest of the world, will never forget. Likewise, yesterday is a day that my good friend will never forget, as her mother was funeralized.

Like the heroes who lost their lives in the September 11th Catastrophe, who are now commemorated by the Tribute in Light and the new Waterfall Pool, Eartha Shoemaker was also hero. She was the first woman and the first African American to work on the Close-out Crew at NASA, in Titusville, Florida. Her life was celebrated yesterday, as her family, co-workers, and friends gathered to exchange stories and grieve together. Ms. Eartha Shoemaker passed away on September 6, 2011.

Howbeit difficult, hopefully, today was well-spent in commemorating our country’s heroes, while remembering that we all grieve and cope differently. Customarily, it is said that we generally encounter five phases of grieving: (1) Denial, (2) anger, (3) bargaining, (4) depression, and (5) acceptance.

In the Denial phase, it’s common to be in the state of disbelief and rebellion about the death, incarceration, divorce, or similar crisis. The event may even bring about feelings of anger and frustration, which may be coupled with or in lieu of bargaining; individuals often rationalize with themselves during the bargaining phase, proposing that if they had done something different, the crisis would not have occurred. With acceptance, feelings of powerlessness can promote cooperation and willingness to carry on with whatever life brings.

Personally, denial is usually my first response, when I have grieved in the past. Unlike others, the denial phase may not be a part of their grieving and coping process. Perhaps, depression is the first expressed emotion for some. On the other hand, some nay not go through the process of anger or bargaining at all. Mainly, it depends on the individual and the circumstances surrounding the crisis.

No matter what your crisis is, let us remember to adhere to a balanced diet, drink plenty of non-alcoholic fluids, exercise, and get plenty of rest. Let us not feel pressured and avoid pressuring others into hiding their true feelings. Let us grieve in our own way, support one another in our different processes of grieving, and pray. Failure to do so may have a negative impact on our health and the health of those around us.

To learn more about grieving, make an appointment with a spiritual leader, therapist, or counselor. Also, visit www.ekrfoundation.org

God bless the families of our lost heroes, and God bless the United States of America.